NO MORE grainy black and white repeats of Steptoe and Son, we can sit in the garden on a balmy summer night and watch the reality TV version in full colour ....

right outside our garden gate....

Chilling out at the end of the day amid the stunning scenery...

..whilst listening to the 135 decibel Wentworth Street version of Last Night of the Proms....

While our good neighbours keep a friendly eye on us....

...backed up by a state of the art surveillence system which zooms in to watch and record EVERY MOVEMENT in OUR garden, to considerately check we are still breathing as we inhale the fragrant scent of fumes, dust and bonfires.

While sitting and admiring Wentworth Street Illuminations....

...secure in the knowledge that we can change the decor at a whim when we tire of the indoor pool.

And already planning the next six month vacation from our des res as the water drains from the indoor pool and OUR home is rebuilt..... Stress free as insurers and loss adjusters no longer want to touch us with the paddle stored alongside the canoe moored outside the garden shed as the preferrable mode of transport to wading in wellies....